Resources
In this section you will be able to explore themes related to therapy
Who should you see: a psychologist, psychotherapist, psychiatrist, or psychoanalyst? All are qualified to treat psychological disorders, though not necessarily the same ones (for example, someone suffering from serious psychotic disorders must be treated by a psychiatrist), and not in the same way. The main difference lies in the treatment method. The psychoanalytic method—which is the one I offer—aims to trace the origin of psychological troubles, often unconscious and conflictual, and to strengthen your defenses against these conflicts. The goal is to help you manage them better, so they no longer hinder your personal growth, in order to restore a healthier relationship with yourself and others. In short, it helps uncover the contents of your unconscious—and be free to respond to them, or not. Psychoanalysis does not focus solely on symptoms; it is based on deep, in-depth work to try to untangle the root causes of those symptoms. That said, it does not necessarily mean the treatment will be very long. Whatever type of support or treatment suits you best, the relationship of trust you build with your therapist is essential.This is why I invite you for an initial consultation session, which entails no commitment other than allowing yourself to be listened to with kindness by someone who deeply understands transitions, identity and cultural challenges.
What about expat kids? “A Third Culture Kid (TCK) is a person who has spent a significant part of his or her developmental years outside the parents’ culture. The TCK frequently builds relationships to all of the cultures, while not having full ownership in any. Although elements from each culture may be assimilated into the TCK’s life experience, the sense of belonging is in relationship to others of similar background” "Over time, they learn to blend effectively into new places and adapt to new settings and experiences. Many become so skilled at doing this that they are akin to chameleons—easily adjusting their dress, language, and style of relating to reflect their surroundings. TCKs often seem more mature than their peers–particularly in the ways they interact with adults and how they view the world. Their diversity of life experience tends to broaden their perspective and cure them of black and white thinking at an unusually young age. This, combined with the acute observational skills that help them adapt to new settings, tends to make them skilled at picking up on nuance and seeing more than one side to situations. Third culture kids become practiced at communicating with those from other cultures and backgrounds. When it comes to making friends, they tend to have the ability to form unusually intense connections with others fairly quickly. In part, this tendency to form fast and deep relationships comes about because they often jump straight to talking with others about universal life experiences such as passions, hobbies, family and relationships, rather than trying to connect around more culturally-bound topics such as TV shows and sporting teams. " They are often challenged with unresolved grief and loss due to frequent moves. They sometimes fail to develop an inner sense of security, but can be perceived as arrogant" (A life overseas, Dave Pollock et al., Third culture kids, Growing up among worlds)
In between languages. In Lost North , Nancy Huston describes the effect produced by the contrast of languages resulting from migration. Under her pen, the situation of the speaking subject becomes eloquent. If the "expatriates" have left their culture and speak several languages, the "impatriates" have never left the country where they were born. The expatriates are rich in their accumulated and contradictory identities; childhood never leaves them, whereas the impatriates lull themselves with an illusion of continuity and evidence. However, the fact of entering a foreign language in adulthood has the effect of obliging the subject to settle forever in imitation, (...) knowingly so to speak, since there is no discourse that is not semblance. The effect is cruel: we learn to know our own traits the moment they clash with those of the surrounding culture. One denounces oneself as a foreigner by one's physical appearance, one's way of moving, of asking, of dressing, of thinking, of laughing. The expatriate observes and gradually tries to adjust, to choose attitudes. But the language cannot really be tamed.The particularity of the mother tongue, unlike an adopted language, is that it is learned without rules, by imitation. Grammar and syntax are acquired by trial and error, and once learned, the mother tongue proves immovable, "cast in the bronze of first times," says Nancy Huston (...).The foreigner is thus condemned by principle to imitation in an adopted language because he is encumbered by several decades of neuronal life, (...) hardened habits and frozen memories. His language is incapable of improvising. If he sometimes obtains a good result, it is because he is an actor (...). The foreigner imitates, applies himself, improves, learns to master a language with more or less success, but always remain a little nothing, a trace of accent, a melody that the impatriate watches for. Then, the mask slips and the "true self" appears... But what is the "true self"? (...) Then begins a cruel guessing game as to his origin. The expat is simply trying to please by speaking like you, to speak with you.Nancy Huston declares, as far as she is concerned, that she speaks Parisian in Paris, Quebecois in Quebec. She adapts her vocabulary by avoiding abstract words, intellectual words, Parisian words, Canadian words, feminist words, bookish words... In short, there would only be concrete words left, except, she concludes, "that one can also spend the evening without opening one's mouth"...A Haitian in Montreal, a German in Paris, or a Chinese in Chicago is a person split in two: such a person "therefore has a history!" says N. Huston. Someone who knows two languages knows two cultures; they are more civilized, less peremptory, than a monolingual expatriate . A foreign language is a blessing on the one hand, and on the other, it is a real burden to bear, because behind the mask of the foreigner, the face has changed. This goes far, because even when they return home, their loved ones no longer recognize the expatriate's mother tongue. They have developed an accent in their own native language. To their loved ones, they say strange words, speak ridiculously, make mistakes, search for their words. Nancy Huston asks the question: "Who are we" if we do not have the same thoughts, the same fantasies, the same existential attitude, or even opinions in one language and another ? (Language and psychoanalysis, M-J. Segers)